Robert knew this was it. The night. He and Susie had been dating for two long months now and here he was: alone with her in his dad’s car, miles from nowhere, with the stereo playing his favorite make-out playlist.
Tonight was the night, boy. It had to be. She was his all night and he was ready. He had planned it to a tee. He’d even got the expensive ribbed condoms that advertised they were “for her pleasure.”
All week, he’d bugged his dad to let him use the car and his dad finally, reluctantly agreed. After Robert had washed and waxed it, that is. Small price to pay for what he felt he was about to receive in return for his hard work.
All week he’d told the boys he was gonna make “the move”. He was moving beyond the kissy-feely stage with Susie and that when he took her out on Friday night, it was put out or get out. A little harsh perhaps, but Robert felt he’d laid the proper groundwork these last few weeks to let Susie know what he had on his mind. More or less.
He sat there with his arm around her shoulder and she looked at him shyly and smiled.
“What are you thinking?” she asked and moved closer to him, “You’ve been so quiet tonight.”
Robert loved her voice. She had that melodic sing-song southern accent that he found so sexy. He remembered when he had first heard it – at the beginning of the year, on the first day of class. He’d seen her and plopped down right next to her because he always made it a point to sit next to pretty girls in classes that he thought would be boring. It gave him something to look at and think about when things got too slow. It was American history, his least favorite subject, so he spent a lot of time gazing at her from the corner of his eye.
She was never called on, so Robert hadn’t heard her speak until the day she dropped her book on the floor in class. Robert quickly picked it up and handed it to her. She smiled her pretty smile and said, “Thank you, sir” in a soft melodic drawl.
Robert laughed. No one had ever called him “sir” before. Especially not someone his own age. Must be a southern thing, he thought. He was smitten right then and there.
And now here they were. Robert gave her what he hoped was a sexy half-smile.
“Oh, I was just thinking about how pretty you look tonight and how good it feels to be alone with you.” She smiled, moved closer to him and narrowed her eyes. Robert knew this was her signal that she wanted him to kiss her. He did and she put her hand on his chest like she always did when they kissed in the car. He loved it when she did that. It made him feel strong and protective, like she was his baby-girl and needed and loved him. They hadn’t said the “L” word to each other yet, but he was definitely feeling something strong. Something…almost a yearning. He’d never felt it before. Then Robert remembered what he’d planned to do that night.
He broke from the kiss and looked out the side window at the crescent moon. Then he turned back to her. She gazed steadily at him with a puzzled, slightly hurt look on her face. Her eyes were shiny, her lips slightly parted, and her honey blonde hair was blowing ever so slightly from the breeze through the open window. Holy Christ, this is like a scene in a movie, he thought. He was momentarily paralyzed by her fragile beauty in that instant.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, and she moved a little away from him. Robert didn’t really know what to say. He really liked this girl and he didn’t want to blow it. Tonight had to be the night. Who knew when he’d get a chance like this again?
He smiled at her slyly, making up his mind. He pulled her close to him and whispered, “Why don’t we get in the back seat? There’s more room back there.”
She didn’t say anything, so Robert stepped out the driver’s side and got into the back seat. After a moment, she joined him. Robert leaned in for a kiss. She seemed a little nervous, but not unreceptive. He began kissing her with as much meaning as he could, to try and almost subconsciously relay his passionate message — to signal unmistakably what he was after. She kissed him back nearly as passionately. He could feel there was a want in her almost as strong as his and he was a little frightened of it. He wasn’t terribly experienced in lovemaking and had only been with a girl twice before. He tried to quell his doubts by kissing her even harder.
He began caressing her whole body gently, insistently. She offered absolutely no resistance. He started to take off her blouse. She didn’t lift a finger to stop him. All the time he was thinking, “She’d better stop me now if she’s gonna stop me at all.”
Things were going just as Robert had planned. He didn’t ever dream of it being this easy. She must really like him a lot if she was willing to go along with this. But then, thought Robert, if she’d let me come this far she must have let someone else come this far, too. Robert started feeling very jealous of this other guy whom he imagined must’ve been there first. I guess it doesn’t really matter, though, he thought. Someone had to be first, right?
He had taken off her top and was struggling to get her jeans down when he noticed that she was simply staring at him while he labored — neither helping nor resisting. Robert stopped.
“You okay?” he asked. She paused a moment.
“I’ll tell you what,” she said, “I’m pretty new at this.”
“What do you mean?” Robert asked.
“I’m brand new.” she said. “I’m about as new as you can get.” She smiled almost apologetically. Robert was puzzled for a moment. He hadn’t really considered she might be a virgin. They were both eighteen and Robert just figured that by the time you’re eighteen hardly anyone’s a virgin any more. Nobody he knew, anyhow. He slowly leaned back, gathering his thoughts.
“Why’d you stop?” she asked after a moment.
“Did you want me to keep going?” said Robert.
“Only if you wanted to.” She replied. Robert looked at her and was suddenly ashamed. He thought about what had been on his mind all night. All week for that matter. What an insensitive jerk he was. This was a beautiful and genuine soul, not someone you just steamroll for your own selfish desires. Yeah, he was disappointed in a way. But he was also kind of relieved. Deep down, he realized this was really not the way he wanted it to happen after all. He looked at her and kissed her softly on the cheek.
“Naw,” he said, “that should happen with someone you love.”
They were both quiet for a moment. She put her top back on slowly, as one song ended and the next came on. It was a love song.
“I love this song,” she said softly, breaking the tension.
Robert nodded. After a moment, he reached over and took her hand. It was warm, a little damp, but he felt her give his hand a squeeze. The moon was high in the sky and in the light, he could see her smile. It was radiant.
Robert knew in that instant… he had definitely made the right move.